


Stark Raving Mad.

by Alysiana



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Gen, Humor, Please Don't Take This Seriously, drunk science, shaving your legs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-25 15:58:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4967164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alysiana/pseuds/Alysiana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An inebriated Tony Stark questions Pepper about why women shave their legs. He deems 'because they look better and feel smooth' not good enough. Drunk and rambling, he sets off. With an electric shaver in hand and no qualms about what this may do to his self image, shenanigans and experiments ('in the name of science!') ensue. And as usual, Pepper is left facing the hilarious media fall out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stark Raving Mad.

**Author's Note:**

> We were given a hero/villain and a humorous prompt. My groups Hero was "Iron man", and the prompt was "Shaving your legs 'cause they feel smooth."
> 
> Here goes nothing!

Tony stands in Avengers Tower, a nearly empty glass of horrendously expensive whisky in hand and looking out over New York. "Miss Potts is on her way up to see you Sir." Announces JARVIS over the speakers. "Thanks JARVIS, warning received. Do we know what she wants?" Tony swirls the ice and meagre amount of whisky left in his glass. "I suspect it has something to do with the press conference you missed yesterday Sir." Tony looks startled. "There was a press conference yesterday? Huh. Oops." At this point, the elevator dings and Miss Virginia Potts, otherwise known as Pepper, steps out, holding various papers in one hand and a Starkphone in the other, busily finishing organising something-or-other. She finishes the phone call and looks to Stark. An exasperated look crosses her face as she realises that he is already drinking and from the looks of him, the glass in his hand was not his first either.

Tony's more than slightly buzzed stare lands on Pepper. "Pepper? What changed?" He gestured vaguely at her with his now empty glass. "You look... Different. Did you get a haircut or something?" Pepper sends him an exasperated look. "Yes, but that was weeks ago Tony." He does not seemed phased by this and presses on. "No, there is something else." He peers at her as if by staring hard enough he can make the difference pop up and say 'Alright, you got me, here I am'. Staring doesn't actually work like that, but no one appears to have told Tony. "Aha! I've got it! You shaved your legs!" Tony looks pleased with himself. Pepper begins to laugh, this makes Tony confused and it shows. The fact that the genius is looking confused at something so simple causes Pepper to laugh harder. "Yes Tony, women do that." If anything, this answer seems to have made Tony even more confused than earlier and he states so. "Why?" Pepper smiles indulgently and explains. "Because they look better that way and feel smoother." Tony raises his eyebrows but refuses to comment further.

-Some time and much drinking later.-

Tony is down in his lab, drunk and rambling as Bruce attempts to actually get some work done. This is completely normal as far as things go but when a self proclaimed 'genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist' is drunk, there is no telling what subjects of attempted conversation are going to manage to get through Tony's whisky addled brain. Tony laughs and rocks on his wheely chair. Suddenly mockingly serious he turns to bruce and proclaims "You know what is unfair? Pepper. She boasts about her legs being all smooth because she shaved them but then won't let me touch her legs to check." Bruce keeps working as though Tony hasn't spoken. Tony appears to take his silence as agreement. "Do you feel like doing an experiment? I feel like doing an experiment. I want to feel Peppers legs but since she won't let me, I'll have to find another way to test if shaving makes your legs better. We shall do it for science!" Bruce groans quietly and face palms at Tony's late night drunken antics. He is mildly concerned when as a result of this speech, Tony gets up and leaves the lab. Shrugging it off, Bruce returns to his work.

It is some time later and Tony returns to the lab. An electric shaver in hand. "Oh Brucie!" Comes his sing-song voice from across the lab. Bruce whirls around startled, knowing that whatever invoked that tone cannot be good. "Oh no, you are not getting anywhere near me with that. Nuh uh. Go bother someone else." Bruce brings his legs up and wraps his arms around them to create a pseudo shield between his legs and Tony's razor. Tony pouts, a look that only makes him look like an over grown man child. "Spoilsport." Which he evidently is.

-The next morning.-

Pepper is in the kitchen, scrolling through the mornings plans on her tablet. Tony stumbles in, hungover and looking like he has pulled an all-nighter and probably consumed waaaaay too much alcohol. When Pepper sees Tony's legs, the alcohol part is confirmed in her mind. "Did you shave your legs?" Tony walks to the breakfast bar and slumps down into one of the seats in front of it. "Yes. Coffee. Begging." Pepper is surprised that he actually admitted it but gets up to grab Tony a coffee before she runs the risk of him going out in public looking like he does. "Well you look ridiculous." She says as she sets the steaming cup down in front of him. Tony proceeds to skull a third of the coffee in one go before looking tiredly down at his legs. She is right of course. His long trousers have been tugged up around his thighs, his long black socks are pulled high and his legs have been inexpertly shaved. He agrees with her assessment of 'ridiculous' but a tired and slightly evil grin appears on his face. "...What are you planning Tony." He looks up at her, arrogant smirk now firmly in place. "This will become a thing. I'm getting Cap next."

-The next day.-

Pepper sighs as she sits at the breakfast bar reading the highlights of the days headlines: "Stark Shaving Mad." "Avengers Got Loki'd?" "Brave the shave!" Pepper finds herself sighing again and face palms. Tony just grins.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos if you liked it and drop me a comment if you have another prompt and if I know the Fandom, I'll see what I can do. (Cross posted on ff.net by me)
> 
> Aly, over and out.


End file.
